this was originally published on may 26, 2025 as a video on my youtube channel. see video below.
mistake #1: not planning food and hydration
okay, first major fail. i didn’t bring any food with me. i figured “there’ll be food there, i’ll be fine.”
there wasn’t.
i ended up surviving on chips, coffee, and fries all day. and i forgot my water bottle and because i’m weird about reusable cups, i ended up dehydrated. next time, i’m definitely packing a protein bar and a water bottle.
mistake #2: forgetting to plan for changing
i had this whole stage outfit planned, but i totally forgot to check that there would be somewhere i could change into it.
i ended up changing in a tiny and really nasty bathroom stall. and let me tell you, it is not the pre-show vibe you want. had i asked ahead of time about where i could change, i would have put my stage outfit on underneath my regular clothes so i could just take them off and change outside easily.
i’ll definitely be doing that next time.
mistake #3: being shy about your stage persona
i almost chickened out of wearing my stage costume because i felt self-conscious.
but this is the thing i realized: your stage costume is part of the performance. i mean, does an actor playing romeo feel weird in their 16th-century shakespeare outfit? well, maybe they do, but they get over it because it’s part of the performance.
same thing with makeup. i thought i had piled it on (i felt like i had this mask of makeup on) but when i saw the videos later, it looks like i have barely any makeup on.
i think stage makeup needs to be way more dramatic than everyday makeup. in any case, i’m keeping that in mind for my upcoming music video shoot.
mistake #4: talking at your audience instead of talking with them
this is a big one. i managed to talk to my audience, but i wasn’t engaging with them.
i should have asked questions; i should have created back-and-forth. and most importantly, i should have explained what was happening.
we had some technical issues during the soundcheck and we ran really late, which meant we had to do our soundcheck right before our performance. so we did the soundcheck and then we went off stage to change and then we came back to the stage to do our real set.
but i never explained this to the audience.
so, some people actually thought that the soundcheck was our performance and they left before we even started! (probably thinking we were really bad…) if i’d just said, “hey everybody, we’re just doing our soundcheck, we’ll be back in 10 minutes to do the show,” that would have made a huge difference.
mistake #5: forgetting the ambiance mic.
so, we actually did set up an ambiance mic, but i didn’t set it nearly high enough in my in-ear monitors. i felt like i was in this bubble, so i missed out on a pretty important part of the experience. it was still great, but it could have been better.
mistake #6: being too shy with the sound engineer
alternatively, having a very amateur sound engineer. i made both mistakes. we didn’t have a real sound engineer, it was just a guy we know. i don’t know what he did, but in the middle of the set, the volume in my in-ear monitors got so loud it totally blew out my ears.
it only lasted a couple seconds then he must have realized what his mistake was and turned it down again but then for the rest of the show, the volume was set just a tad too high.
what i should have done is said, “hey guy, can you turn it down a little bit?”
what i did do is… nothing.
i powered through. i didn’t want to bother anybody; i didn’t want to be a diva.
i should have been a diva.
a little bit of a diva.
i’m proud that i handled this pretty smoothly (if you just listen to the sound of the concert, you can hardly tell that i’m having issues) but you can see it and i should have said something. i would have enjoyed myself more.
mistake #7: not planning for encores
having an audience asking for an encore is a good problem to have.
we had it!
we got to the end of our set and people started cheering for more. this band has only been together for four months, so we’d done everything we knew how to do. in hindsight, we could have done an acoustic version of one of my songs, but we just hadn’t planned for it.
we should have planned for it.
mistake #8: not recording the event properly
i was so focused on performing that i almost didn’t set up my video equipment. thankfully, i remembered at the last minute, but i didn’t have time to do it properly.
i set up the camera way too low, and it wasn’t a problem for our set, thank god, but the band after us, they had people come right to the front of the stage, and they were in front of the camera, so their footage isn’t as good.
mistake #9: set clear goals and know what success looks like
if you saw my vlog about the week before the concert, it goes from monday to saturday. and saturday night, right after the show, i’m feeling really good.
but what i didn’t show in that vlog was the meltdown that i had on sunday.
the day after the show, i was tired and i was dehydrated and i was hungover. plus, i was in this down, depressing phase that i always have to navigate when a big project that’s been consuming a lot of my time and energy is finally over.
and then i watched the footage from the concert and all i could see were the mistake. the off-key notes and the awkward dance moves and everything…
and i crashed.
i mean, total mascara-streaking emotional meltdown.
and my husband, bless his soul, was there as he always is to ask the right questions and prop me back up.
him: “wait a second. remember what the goal was at the beginning?”
me: “yeah, i know. you’re right. the goal wasn’t to be perfect. it was that i enjoy myself. bla bla bla.”
him: “no, no, no. that was a goal you set later. the first goal was just to see if you like doing shows.”
and he was right.
three months ago, i didn’t want to do any shows. i was terrified of getting on stage.
but i got off that stage and i was like, “when are we doing this again?!” `
i had so much fun.
i should have written down my goals.
i should write them down. i should check them regularly. and i should celebrate when i achieve them instead of focusing on these hidden expectations i didn’t even know i had…