the other day, instead of kicking myself for being lazy like i’ve done for the past 60 days, i decided to internally investigate why i hadn’t posted a vlog on my youtube channel in over 2 months.
i’m not afraid to show my face on camera. i do it all the time for tiktok and instagram.
i’m not lacking ideas. my notes app is filled with them.
i’m not intimidated by the gear. i’ve been doing this for a long time, i know how to.
yet there is so much resistance!
i have to look presentable. cool, even, if possible. put makeup on, get dressed. i have to find a nice place to film. also cool, if possible. it has to be quiet and not too reverby. but it can’t be in the middle of the night because then the lighting isn’t great. and it can’t be outside because then i feel too stupid. it has to be scripted at least minimally so i don’t hum and haw on camera for an hour and have to spend 8 hours editing it down to a 10 minute video, which basically means writing a whole bunch of text just like this one even before even i take my camera out…
posting to youtube takes so. much. time.
as i thought about it, i found myself reminiscing about the ‘good old days of blogging’.
back when i had a blog, i could think about what i was saying for longer. i could be so much more articulate. if an idea popped up while i was editing my first draft, i could just add it in. i could correct typos on the fly.
i could write at 2am in my pyjamas. i could write in the doctor’s waiting room. i could write sitting on a park bench in the middle of my morning walk because i just had a great idea (like i’m doing now).
i loved blogging so much, i thought. i wish i could blog now instead of making videos.
wait.
why don’t i blog again?
immediately my gears were turning at maximum speed. ‘sure, less people are going to read it. but then again, no one’s really watching my vlogs on youtube anyways. i can send it to the people that have signed up to my artist newsletter. maybe they’ll be interested. i can post it on facebook, you can do that now, can’t you? i can even post it on the youtube community page.’
writing from who you are deep inside. shedding the polish and the aesthetic armor. not caring about likes and metrics.
the more i think about it, blogging is actually a punk move.
in a world filled with vertical 10 second clips coming at you from everywhere, reading a blog entry for 10 minutes feels slow and deliberate. and rebellious.
kind of like buying a vinyl and listening to it from start to finish, without skipping the song in the middle that you’re not a fan of right away but that might just grow on you.
2 days later, here i am on substack.
(because yes to blogging but let’s make it easier than in 2003, shall we?)
happy to be here.