i’ve never liked going to concerts.
hated them, actually.
my opinion is a controversial one. most people i know love to go to concerts. but hear me out:
you’re either sat on an uncomfortable chair or left standing for an uncomfortable amount of time,
if there’s a crowd, people push you, spill their drink on you, step on your toes, burn you with their cigarette,
if there’s hardly anyone there but you, you get second-hand embarrassment just watching the band play in front of an empty room,
if it’s an artist that you know and love, more often than not you’re disappointed that they’re not playing or singing as well as on their album,
if it’s an artist that you’re discovering, there’s no ‘next’ button to get to another song you might like better and when you do get to a song you love, you can’t save it to your playlist to play it on repeat later,
and the music is always too loud. (seriously, what’s up with that?)
so much frustration and sensory overload.
since i could never figure out what people like about concerts, in my late twenties i just stopped going altogether. saved money, saved time, it was fine.
except when it came time for me to do a live show.
that first time on stage, all i could think about was ‘how many of these people are uncomfortable and wishing they could hit the next button?’ plus, i didn’t know what i was supposed to do up there, besides sing my songs. i had no inspiration.
suffice it to say i did not enjoy that first show at all.
i hated it, in fact.
got off stage and had a panic attack.
after that first time, i decided i’d never do another live gig. saved money, saved time, it was fine.
fast forward a few months.
i got more serious about this music project, found a band to play with and slowly, the itch to get on stage came back.
this time around, i decided i needed to understand what people like about concerts. so in the past year, i’ve gone to as many concerts as i possibly could: big venues, small venues, beloved artists, unknown artists. i’ve also been watching a lot of live performances on youtube and asking anyone and their grandmother what it is they like about live music.
i studied what the artists do, how they play, what they say to their audience… and i took notes to build my own blueprint:
i appreciate performers that communicate with their audience. it makes me feel special, like the artist really appreciates me being there. it’s ok for them to close their eyes sometimes, to be in the zone, but i don’t want to feel like i could be watching this on a screen.
i love when people move on stage, especially when it looks effortless. but if their stage moves impair their singing, i’d rather they didn’t move as much.
i don’t mind noticing that an artist is nervous, especially when it doesn’t impact their performance very much. i actually find it endearing and i am 100% rooting for them to overcome their nerves.
i appreciate it when an artist has put thought into their act beyond the music. i like the lights and the fog and the videos and the dancers and the jokes and the stage costumes. i love a full immersive experience.
i love when an artist picks me up and carries me into their world. when they don’t wait for the audience to give them a boost. when they project their energy outwards and make it pour like rain onto us.
i experimented with all of this last time i was on stage and am happy to report that i felt great up there this time.
i still have work to do, of course, especially on that last one. i am very sensitive to the energy of a room. i instantly soak up the mood and am contaminated by it. projecting energy and confidence in front of a lukewarm crowd means i need to literally be a method actress.
pretend.
fake it till i make it.
aaaand we’re back to imposter syndrome.
i’ll get there.